Brain Drain..

It was one of those days when i felt like doing nothing at all..Other than just relax and be a couch potato for the better part of the day..

But I deserved to be a couch potato ..After a week of filling in for the boss at work and dealing with a bunch of nagging voices asking me to be careful and not bankrupt the company or kill the plants in her absence..oh the tension..

Back home 3 days of continues cooking for a very appreciative group of guests..it was a pleasure unlike my first task..But sure was tiring..not to mention the 5 miles of almost killing myself  walk on the tread mill..Along with my guests I was being a tad too appreciative of my own cooking..So I was trying very hard to undo some of the damage I did to my already ample love handles.. The muscles I dint know I had until that minute were screaming murder .. I’d like to meet the genius who said hurting muscles are a good sign, it means that they are toning up..I want to tell them that it is called torture and not toning up..What more ..it was not only my muscles that was tired.. my brain cells failed to work completely too..Even Captain Java couldn’t help me this time..Hmm this is serious, I tell u.. So I started to meditate on the reason for this recent brain kill..

After some deep thinking..Hallelujah!!! Bingo!! I know now..

The reason being the little natter I had with my neighbor Padma ..After the grueling date with my tread mill, I was hauling a few trash bags and struggling with my overly full trash can…The trash can was winning the battle and wasn’t budging an inch..Finally with a kick and hard shove, I could get it on its wheels and out into the drive way..

There Padma was, inspecting her garden..Hello G ,she hollered..oh no! I almost moaned out loud..My visions of a book and the cozy couch had to be postponed..

Padma, is a friendly neighbor.. But she loves to talk and she has the habit of assuming people that she talks to are telepathic..Ahh..the guessing game I play with Padma..Keeps the mind very sharp..But today I was not very keen on sharpening my brain power..Did i have an option? No...so there she was walking towards me pulling off her gardening gloves and ready for another long telepathic session .. how are you G, its been so long since I saw u..she said..Little did she know that I try and sneak out of my own house when she is not in her garden..

Keeping these not too neighborly thoughts to myself, and after a few Hi's and hello's she zooms into the recent happenings in her life..You know, my mother in law is coming..she says..Oh really? Great , that will be fun..i said..Oops!..wrong thing to say I believe..She gives me a, ‘ r u nuts?’ look and then a ‘oh u poor naïve thing, let me educate you’ look before she embarks on her life’s stories ..’You don’t know my mother in law..she is different..u know what I mean’ she says.. Is it only me or does anyone else find this statement contradictory too? Oh!! I tell her..and I realize a little late that I was supposed to say more than just a oh..I try to find the correct thing to say about her mother in law, whom according to Padma  I know nothing about and at the same time, am supposed to know how different she is..My poor over worked brain was being of little help, so I just made a bunch of sympathetic noises..tsk..tsk..That seems to be enough for now..Padma, continued her monologue..’My husband..my god..he is so…u know right? How they are …’ and then a pause.. So the pause means, she is waiting for me to say something again?? dang.. How am I supposed to know how her husband is? And i haven’t recovered from my tsk..tsk yet, whines my brain..i know..i know..i say and cajole it to work out more apt phrases..Grudgingly it complies, so I was able to say.. yea..i know, followed by the shake of my head very slowly..’ Thank God only he knew my head was completely blank and i had no idea about what Padma was saying....
With a final burst of energy my brain comes to my rescue again..Before Padma, utters anything more about her poor mother in law or the husband, I jump into more familiar grounds..I love your garden Padma, I tell her..She is all smile..Ahh..finally I can relax..Yes, see I planted roses today and Home Depot has a good sale on the Daisies..You should plant some in your garden..Maybe I will help you, how does this evening sound, we can go and get a few..

OMG!! What did I just do .. The saying , ‘Alas she falls into the flames trying to escape the burning oil’ comes to mind..As much as I love gardening and Padma has a green thumb and it was nice of her to offer to help..but I was in no shape to go buy daisies and plant them..Trying hard to come up with an excuse, I tell her, ‘oh! I’m sorry but we have other plans, some other day maybe..’ and before she proposes another date or ask about my fictitious plans, I play my very last card..I compliment her on the bracelet she is wearing..It is beautiful I tell her..She is all smiles again..She tells me about the design and the stones in the bracelet..The price, the killer deal she struck with the shop owner and more.. Jewellery talk is a little like Greek and Latin to me..It is not one among the top 5 things in my list of favorite indulgences..But I listen very patiently and make the appropriate noises to let her know that I was impressed and she scored a great deal..

Not only were my muscles screaming, my brain cells were sobbing too..We cannot come up with any more telepathic responses for today G..Please have mercy they said..Taking a huge breath, I interrupt Padma’s nonstop jewellery chatter and tell her that I have something on the stove that needs my attention ..Oh, she says, so what are u cooking? Just when I thought i was never getting back to my couch and was contemplating on a nice good cry, the God’s high above took pity on me and opened up the sky..I’ve never been more happy to see a thunder storm..Oh no.. it is raining, I told Padma, just in case she dint notice ..Before she could start about the rain and the good it will do for her garden, I bid her a Goodbye and ran into the comfort of my home and the cozy couch..

The reason for the brain drain being sorted out..i sympathize with my brain cells and double my effort at being an absolute couch potato..I even cut down my second cup of Java, just in case the good captain wakes my resting brain..It needed the rest, for I was certain I would run into my non stop chatting telepathy assuming neighbor fussing around in her garden tomorrow..

Sherlock Holmes

I love drama and dramatic endings.. Something that captures the readers imagination.. What is life without drama? Talking about drama.. it reminds me of Sherlock Holmes.. My all time favorite detective.. And who would know him better than Dr Watson..

 "Watson insists that I(Mr.Holmes) am the dramatist in real life. Some touch of the artist wells up within me, and calls insistently for a well staged performance”

Being an avid reader of his books, I agree.. He is brilliant but mercurial, his intelligence, self assurance, his mastery of every situation and his unerring judgment are all stunning and very entertaining.. What can I say, I am his biggest fan.. or maybe I am a fan of Arthur Conan Doyle.. The brain behind the world’s greatest detective.. He has a witty sense of humor and sprinkles his stories with dry resorts and ironic asides, making It easier to simply adore his most beloved detective.. Sherlock Holmes’ abilities and character itself according to many are more machine like than human.. But the clever use of phrases like these makes him more human and likable..

‘You know Watson, that a conjurer gets no credit when once he has explained his trick; and if I show you too much of my method of working, you will come to the conclusion that I am a very ordinary individual after all. "

Holmes an ordinary individual?? No way.. nil, nada, never.. From the very first story I read, Holmes ceased to be fiction and became very much real to me.. i have lost count as to how many times I’ve read Sherlock Holmes.. the tall hawk like nosed detective never fails to amaze me every time.. Sometimes I am so involved in the stories and with Holmes , that I am tempted to try my hands on the power of detection ..But alas I fail miserably..

Like the other day,  I was supposed to meet a childhood friend, I had not seen in ages, but to whom I speak on the phone once in a  blue moon.. Waiting for her in the park, I was reading The adventures of Sherlock Holmes.. i sublimed with the detective in 221B baker street, and was busy interviewing a Mr. Joseph M. Stoddart.. So involved I was in the book that when I looked up to see my friend walking towards me, i automatically got my brain waves organized and tried to think like Holmes the conjurer ..In the 5 minutes it took her to reach me, I dove head first into the art of detection..

Fortunately, I was sitting in the shade, the light was not on my face and I could observe the object of my interest as long as i wanted, without being noticed.. The sun illuminating her face,  gave me the opportunity to put together vague assumptions of my friend’s past and present..  Something about the way she walked caught my eye almost immediately.. Wasn’t hard to miss u see, she was limping a little.. Almost dragging her left feet.. now what does this tell me? I went back to the few phone conversations I’ve had with her.. Did she slip and fall in the little messes her puppy left  behind in her house constantly? Or maybe it happened when she was learning to drive her unpredictable 2 wheeler.. I look at her face and was captured by the expression on it.. she seem to be in pain.. correction.. she was in pain.. Holmes is never in doubt ..his judgment is always unerring  ..ahh..hha…so that tells me something.. the injury was pretty recent.. hmm, cannot be her unpredictable bike lessons, for that was 6 months back and her messy puppy was even before the bike.. so what else can it be.. What would Sherlock Holmes do when he hits a brick wall I wondered, I know ..he would meditate with his pipe and lamentable tobacco ..Neither of it being at my disposal that very minute, I sought knowledge from one of his quotes..

"Perhaps when a man has special knowledge and special powers like my own(Holmes), it rather encourages him to seek a complex explanation when a simpler one is at hand. "

Maybe there is a simple explanation to this mystery after all, and so I expel another wave of powerful detections her way.. I looked at her feet.. The shoes are plain flat soled and open toed.. Something new for my friend, who is into heels and clickety clacks of the latest fashions and trends.. Or maybe these shoes are in fashion rite now..  I should get myself a pair, I think to myself.. focus G…focus.. says the voice in my head.. Ok..ok I am back to focusing.. Hmm lets see.. The injury being recent and open toed shoes..  does that mean.. and that is when I had another ahh..haa moment.. i know, she stubbed her toe on a rock and broke a nail, I tell myself.. and that hurts.. i know, I’ve had broken toe nails before.. That was it.. According to the famous detective,

‘when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?’

so that must be the truth.. A very simple truth.. i congratulate myself.. i did it.. OMG! I really did it.. Mr.Holmes would be proud of me.. and so will Dr.Watson..

Hi G.. says Sashi, wiping her hot sweaty face with a tissue.. It is so good to see you Sashi.. How r you, its been way to long, we should meet more often I tell her, giving her a ice cold bottle of water.. and so goes on the conversation about family, friends, childhood and all the mischievous days.. I try hard not to stare at her feet and try even harder not to grin celebrating my little victory.. Sashi wouldn’t  take kindly to being grinned at when she is in pain.. After 20 minutes of chit chat, we are on our way to have lunch.. Sashi is still dragging her feet, but has not uttered a single word  about it yet.. Not wanting to be rude by acting as if I dint notice, I tell her I am sorry that she hurt her toe.. Doing so I wait for her surprised exclamation about how I knew it and if I were a magician.. Sherlock Holmes gets that reaction from people all the time, u see.. But to my dismay, I don’t hear a squeak of surprise for the next 10 seconds, so I turn to look at her and the reason for her lack of reaction..

Sashi was busy looking at my toe.. U hurt your toe? She asked? Oh.. now I get it, she dint hear me.. and so I explained to her my theory of her injury.. The confused blank look she gave me, said it all.. ‘What ever put that idea in your head?’ she asked.. Flabbergasted, i am almost speechless.. i try to explain the ,‘when you have eliminated the impossible’ theory of Holmes to Sashi.. But i seem to have lost my voice.. So I take the easy way out and just shrug.. Since you were limping.. i said.. Her laugh sounded like sandpaper ( I must tell you, she does have a nice laugh, but right then it seemed like sand paper to me)  grating on my raw nerves.. oh Sherlock Holmes , oh Dr. Watson, how could I fail u, I moaned in misery.. So what happened then, I wondered..

Unaware of my despair , Sashi continued.. My shoe strap broke, see on the back.. So I am having a hard time walking she said.. Ahh do I dare feel relief? The strap in the back of her flat soled open toed, plain shoe broke.. no wonder I couldn’t see it, I consoled my poor over worked brain.. With that thought running over and over in my brain and the consolation having done little to sooth my bruised ego, we had lunch.. I wished Holmes was here to use his hypnotic power of soothing on me.. I could do with some serious soothing right that minute..

That evening I dint shun away from 221B baker street like I expected ..rather I was back with Sherlock Holmes and Dr.Watson, discussing another interesting case.. After all it was the great detective himself who said,

"To let the brain work without sufficient material is like racing an engine. It racks itself to pieces. "..

See what I mean.. I dint have sufficient material, I couldn’t have known the back strap of the shoe was broken.. Not like I had omnipresent eyes u know.. or so I console myself..

The number of disappointing detections under my belt had gone up a couple of notches since Sashi and her broken shoe, but I haven’t given up making harmless assumptions about the unsuspecting souls that cross my path.. someday I tell myself..someday.. I have a strong hunch that I will make Sherlock Holmes Proud and until then my less than perfect detecting skills will continue..

Few of My Favorite Things..

                

The early morning sun and its warmth, green pastures and the ticklish feel of grass under my feet..The brightly colored flowers with their velvety petals..The hum and chirping of the bees and birds, the smell of the soil after a rainy day, a chilly wind or a calming breeze, starry skies and the full moon..Playing on the swing and giving the great big trees a hug.. taking very long walks, listening to music or humming a melody, lying on the grass looking at the clear blue sky.. Watching the last leaf fall to the ground, apples, peaches and peach cobblers too.. relishing an orange or a piece of sour candy..The lovely scent of daisies, roses and jasmine..

The serenity I find in the Temple, the religious chants and the beautiful deities.. Writing a letter or penning my thoughts.. pencils and abstract art..riding my bike, taking a leisurely swim, a hot bath with bubbles and candles, homemade soup or family dinners..reading a book  curled up in a comfy couch, sipping wine after a long day, early morning cup of coffee, A glass of ice water on a hot day..a warm hug on a winters evening, a gentle fire in the hearth and mug of hot chocolate..Friday evenings and long drives..Talking to a friend.. surprise hugs and thoughtful cards..Cooking a new recipe and the nervous butterflies in my tummy, anticipating comments or compliments..Sounds of crashing waves and pitter- patter of the rain fall..The clickety clack of a high heel shoe..the colors pink and purple..the feel of silk on skin..the fresh scent of newly washed clothes and a soft fluffy pillow.. Reading the news, browsing for shoes.. Watching the joy of a child in a candy store..The toothless smile of an infant..Puppies and bunnies..cotton candy and grilled corn too..

And so, on and on goes my list..but here’s the best one of them all.. my little one’s Good Night Ritual with her dad..

Tucking her into bed, she starts with, ‘Good Night daddy..i love you..Sweet Dreams.. Don’t let the bed bugs bite..Huggies and kissies..’ and finally.. ’daddy, am I still your little girl??’

Off course hunny!! You’ll always be daddy’s little cookie, he replies..

The cute joyful giggles that follows, will always be number one on my list of favorite things..